Is it beautiful? What to say to the child, how and why?

For most of us, we have all been confronted by at least one surprise question with children. Among all the questions that demonstrate their curiosity and desire to learn new things, we also find the ones whose purpose we don't really understand and don't really know what to answer.

Among those we find "is my drawing beautiful?" We find ourselves faced with this question a little clueless and we answer without thinking too much about it "Why yes! It is very nice, good job".

In reality, what are the repercussions of this answer and especially why does the child ask us this question? This is what we will discuss today in this article.

Why the "Do you like my picture" question?
When children ask this question, they are often trying to please the adult. Seeing the adults they like as idols, they want to make sure they like them and do things they will enjoy. This is a reassurance for them and a kind of approval that they are doing the right thing.

The answers with a repercussion opposite to the desired one
When we answer "yes, your drawing is very pretty", we have just put a label on his drawing and set a certain criterion of beauty. In the long run, this criterion of beauty could put barriers to the child during the path of their development. It could then be that they prevent themselves from trying new things for fear of becoming less good than before and that their self-esteem is affected.

Of course when we respond that he is beautiful, we give this response with love and support. However, this loving and supportive response could have the opposite effect.

Being told that their drawings are beautiful by adults that they like, the child could find themself in an environment of comparison and competition (my drawing is more beautiful than my friend's) and when they ask one of their friends and the friend answers that they don't like their drawing, the child could find themself in emotions of rejection and disappointment, which could then put a barrier between the drawing and the child in the future. This could lead to the child losing the desire to draw for fear of not being liked, because the drawing is now a part of them.

What to say to the child
Here is what we can say to the child. First, we can ask them about their drawing: "Do you like your drawing? What do you like best about your drawing? Explain your drawing to me?

Result: This question will allow the child to gain confidence, to find their own pride, will stimulate his language and will also develop their social skills.  

If we want to compliment the child's drawing, we can do so by adopting a simple technique of remark. We look at the colors they used, the shapes or the elements they could have tried that they had never tried before. For example, "Oh, I notice you used the color yellow, I think that's a color I don't usually use!" or even "I notice your little guy now has four fingers! It's the first time you've done fingers. Bravo!"

Result: We describe in words what we see which enriches the child's language, we help the child to find their pride, the child will be proud to have tried new things, they will be curious during new learning.

In conclusion
Child development can sometimes seem like a complicated thing, especially knowing that every child is unique. But one thing that never changes is the need to feel loved by the people they love. So, the suggestions offered in this article will help the child feel loved while promoting their self-esteem and development. It is also possible that our initial response may reappear at times, which is normal, as it is similar to a change of habit. With my group of children, it took me about a month to adopt this new behavior and sometimes I would answer yes to the child instantly. It was when I noticed this answer coming out of my mouth without even thinking about it that I would later ask the child what they thought of their drawing.

 Moral: give yourself time and if you still say yes, don't worry, it is possible to reverse that answer and return the question to the child.

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